What makes someone your soul mate? Does it only apply to relationships, or can it apply to friendships as well? Maybe even someone in your family? And, lastly, does it indeed only have one, sole, individual meaning? I used to think the term “soul mate” was someone, anyone, who understood you like no one else could, and the same to you with them. If you were a puzzle, your soul mate would be the last piece, fitting perfectly into the middle to reveal a beautiful, collective picture. 

Lately, in this generation, people are falling in love too quickly. And the term soul mate is used about practically everyone we have two or more dates with. It’s because we hear people telling stories about their soul mates, and we just want to have one so bad, that we sometimes force the expression onto every relationship. “We have the same auto insurance!” or “We both love the color blue!” or “We both get the same value meal at Wendy’s!” These characteristics are so broad and pervasive that many more people, outside the two of you, have in common. Who doesn’t love blue? And who doesn’t get the Double Cheeseburger meal at Wendy’s? After breaking up with almost a dozen soul mates, I started thinking about what it really meant, and it wasn’t until I read the book “Eat, Pray, Love” that I understood. There is a section in the book where Liz GIlbert, the author, is talking to another guest at the Ashram she is staying at in India, and she asks him the question, “What do you think a soul mate is?” And his response completely changed my view on the term. “People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. ​

​But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? ​Nah. Too painful.

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.” His interpretation totally made sense to me, and I hope it does for you, too. In this life you will come across many different people who are your soul mates, whether it be your brother or sister, a friendly neighbor or coworker, a best friend, and even your children. It’s not just one person anymore. It’s not just a sole individual. So stop putting pressure on yourself to find a soul mate, because chances are you already have found one. Or two. Or five.